Lucky?

I’m starting this post from a car on the way to Manhattan, heading to an event. I’ve already written and rewritten several paragraphs, but none of them feel right.

Everything seems so obvious, so silly, nothing special. So I’m starting over.

Only 19 days separate us from the end of this year. And just a few more until my birthday.

Time really does fly. Once you finish school or college or stop studying wherever you were, and stop organizing your days and weeks into semesters or quarters, everything seems to happen faster.

This 2017 was no exception, and January quickly turned into February, June into July, and one day November became December.

And that’s how one of my best friend’s wedding arrived. The civil ceremony was at the end of November, and the party on December 2nd.

I remember when she told us the date and we thought about how far away it seemed. December 2nd looked incredibly distant. We even made a WhatsApp group with the countdown as the title, and at some point, there were more than 300 days left.

But yes. Time passes—days, weeks, months, seasons.

And yes, this 2017 is already close to ending. 

Lately, I’ve become a fan of white and nude pink (or blush, or whatever you want to call it) and men’s shoes (okay, this isn’t entirely new—I’ve liked men’s shoes for a long time, but I became “more” of a fan). This time was the perfect opportunity to wear it all together for my friend’s civil ceremony and also to take these photos on the rooftop of a building in Berazategui, the town that saw me grow up and where I lived from age 5 to 25 without interruption.

I think about this as I continue traveling in the same car to the same event, and I can’t believe it.

And I remember the post where I told you how it all started, and WOW.

Sometimes things happen, even when you can’t believe it. More than not believing it, though, I feel like sometimes I struggle to value it. 

I sometimes find it hard to stop and say WOW, this IS my reality, I achieved all this, I’ve come this far.

While it’s true that I’m grateful for everything around me and everything I have (“have” in the least material sense), as I shared in this post, I often struggle with “enjoyment.”

And it’s because I always aspire to more. 

I always want to reach higher. Further. Faster.

I demand from myself, I disappoint myself, I do everything for more, and while this is what allows me today to do what I want, sometimes it can work against me—ambitious minds are often the least satisfied ones.

But I confess, every now and then I make that “stop” and, almost always with Tom there as my confessor, I tell him, “Wow. I can’t believe all this. I’m fortunate.”

But it’s not luck. It’s not magic. It’s not chance. And it’s not something that “happened” to me because I’m someone’s aunt, cousin, or sister. It’s something I worked for every single day. Every single day.

But I know many others do the same, and I know things don’t always work out—because that happens to me all the time too. 

I’m still in the car (the traffic… you know!) but… it’s almost time to get out because we’re three blocks away.

Be grateful, value what you have, work hard, pause, contemplate, be grateful again, give more, aim higher, plan, and be grateful once more. 

Have a beautiful day!

Kisses.

Flor.